H-E-N-D-R-I-C-K — No ‘S’, no ‘X’
For a few years now, a series of interesting search engine terms have brought people to my blog. However — and I know this for a fact — the reader never discovers the information he’s looking for. But given the events that have happened in my life recently, there is a funny coincidence between the search terms that are unrelated to me and… me! I can’t believe forgot about this unfortunate story prior to my nose surgery, until one of the searched items popped up the other day.
These first came to my attention in 2009, when I migrated the blog to WordPress (I am a statistics and analyses nerd. Love this stuff.):
brittany hendricks nose job
brittany hendricks las vegas
brittany hendricks stripper
This struck me as funny… mainly because I am not Brittany Hendricks. And though my name is misspelled and mispronounced even by those who know me well, I was certain that no one suspected I lived in Vegas and was employed as an exotic dancer. And, at the time, I had not undergone surgery yet.
What could so many people out there possibly want to know about a Vegas stripper named Brittany Hendricks who had a nose job? What were these people looking for?
Curious to know the story behind my almost-namesake and what made her so interesting to the World Wide Web, I searched it myself and
OOOOHHH MY GOD.
To summarize, Brittany Hendricks was a hard-lifin’ woman who sought the services of a well-known New York plastic surgeon to perform a rhinoplasty and breast augmentation on her. The night before the surgery, Hendricks, the doc and his girlfriend allegedly hit the meth pipe, got freaky, caught a couple hours of shut-eye, and went through with the procedure the next morning. High.
In turn, the doc fucked up Hendricks’ nose and she sued him. A lot of other patients drew lawsuits, too, apparently.
It’s easily arguable that Hendricks’ credibility is, errrr, less than favorable. Then again, what do you make of a guy who drives a Porsche replete with a vanity plate that reads BUNNYMAKR, leaves behind gauze inside another patient and remarks it was “…nothing crazy, just some gauze I left”, and makes grandiose statements such as, “The [lawsuit] is going well — I will prevail!”
I will prevail?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That’s my favorite blob of ego-narcissism — and there were many — that pooped out of his mouth. The only thing missing was: “You asked me if I have a god complex? Let me tell you something: I AM God!”
Anyway, it’s a harrowing tale of Crazy meets Crazy, and it’s still a hot topic to this day. I hope the poor lady got her nose fixed properly, though. Even if she was a drug-addled dumbass. Brittany Hendrick, No ‘S’, No ‘X’, is grateful that her doctor did a good job… but now wonders what kind of car he drives.
Aaannnd I think what Google searchers are really interested in are before/after pictures of Brittany Hendricks. Maybe that’s just me.