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May 14, 2010 / Brittany Hendrick

Ummm… may I help you?

For almost a year now, I’ve known about one frequent Snarky the Clown visitor with an irrational compulsion to read the same stories over and over as if they will change or reveal something new later on.

Kind of weird, but whatever.

Now I have a new problem on my hands.


This problem comes courtesy of an imploding cabal. Out of three people, not one can figure out who’s lying to whom. How sad. To my estimation, I believe that all three are liars and using each other. How sadder.

All I know is that I’m sitting comfortably as the fourth person, completely out of the equation (never really was in it, thank Jesus, God and Baby Jesus), with my genuinely earned merits intact. Comfortable enough that I can yammer on here; but offline, keep it to myself (except when speaking to my one, appropriate confidant… during bankers’ hours). I don’t need alliances nor cover-ups, backpedaling nor face-saving. I’ve lived in Gwinnett County for 26 years. My history speaks for itself.

What makes me UNcomfortable is that somebody was sent to my website. This was a purposed visit. I don’t know whether to laugh at, be frightened by, or feel sorry for the not-so-undercover crony.


Through the magic of Logic and Reason (*gasp*), it’s easy to tell who randomly comes across this website, has a read, hopefully has a laugh, and moves on. It’s just as easy to determine who visits this website specifically. And even those who do arrive with a purpose, it’s easy to tell who has been here before (e.g. my friends) versus those who are here for the first time. Further reading material on this concept may be found in my post here.

A meanderer looking for any-old WordPressed Snarky the Clown would either a) read the most recent entr(y)ies, b) read a few entries at random, or c) realize he has the wrong guy and not read anything at all.

A friend of mine who has to look for my site, and who isn’t on Facebook, would follow the same a) and b) patterns as the Meanderer above.

My online-connected friends with easy access to my site may also follow a), b), or even c) [to see if I’ve updated]. But they wouldn’t have to perform a search at all.

A first-time visitor, an outsider, someone who may not know my full name or how to spell it, someone who was given the name of my site– of which its contents were discussed with another person– and who doesn’t give a fuck about me otherwise would do a search on my blog name, zero-in on an old entry, and leave.

That’s precisely what happened yesterday.

It probably went something like this:

Hey, you should see what Brittany wrote. It’s at Snarky the Clown on WordPress, and it’s [such-and-such] entry.

I haven’t pointedly said to anyone, “Go here. Read this.” I haven’t told a single friend– not even my confidant– about “such-and-such” entry. Unless guided, no one would know what to look for. That’s why I’m perturbed and annoyed right now. I need a big fucking swatter for this horsefly.

Technically, only one person (the subject) knows the exact details of the entry in question and would have reason to visit it; and we discussed it. No one else should be intrigued to hone in at that entry only.

Do we have a Blabber? And why blab? Or did the person who knows about the site simply switch-up search terms? Why do that? (to incite this post, of course, ah haha)

But hey! Maybe my new reader is someone whom I’ve never met, a family member, someone who lives in a different state! Someone who is as much out of the equation as I am!

Or maybe the web-Virgil said:

Hey, you should read Brittany’s in-depth analysis on this topic. It’s so poignant! You can really learn something from it and apply it to your own life. Her blog is called Snarky the Clown on WordPress. It’s [such-and-such] entry.

Yea-ah, maybe that’s it!

Yeah, right.

I’m not sure what people expect to find on Snarky the Clown. I’m not writing FOR or TO anyone. I write ABOUT people, certainly. But the names aren’t important.

We all know people, good and bad, like those described throughout this website. Which is why I think it’s funny that someone went on an “OMGZ, what did Birtnany say about ME?!1?11!!” mission. If the alien reader indeed learned something valuable and wants to improve, then I suppose I can’t be too spooked about the visit.

So, I don’t write about people, but rather, characters. Snarky the Clown is a character. It could be you. I mean the “general” You. If you’re offended by what I say, don’t be indignant– fucking be horrified at yourself and do something about it (I live by this, too); think about how you look to other people and how it affects not just your life, but other people’s as well. Selfishly incapable of experiencing empathy? How saddest.

In closing for today– some simple advice to the negatively obsessive types who come here for the wrong reasons, who don’t like me yet are so desperately “interested” only to try to find information: bookmark that shit.


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